By Eric Longabardi
For over two decades I've been in the news business, chasing bad guys, crooks, busting corrupt politicians, exposing wrongdoing and just plain chasing the news wherever it might be.
I've been chased by the FBI, detained by foreign police and harassed, confronted and had guns pointed at me (more than once) I've had my life threatened, but more often than not, I have also been at the side of law enforcement undercover or on a SWAT raid or some other kind of adventure where I have seen or in many cases beaten law enforcement to expose the truth about some kind of criminal activity with my reporting.
I'm always glad to do so. I'm the first guy to call the cops when I have a story that might help them and say "hey you're going to want to watch this story". I'm in the public service profession as well.
I've also seen some serious bad stuff go down more times than I want to remember over the many years. The worse stuff I try to forget, but sometimes that proves impossible. I've developed a pretty thick skin and black sense of humor about the news and the world that surrounds covering it. It's what I do to stay sain in an insane world. Like cops and other people who deal with life's darker and seamier side, it's a common defense mechanism many reporters have.
But in all those years, I have never had the chance to do something I've always wanted to do, and that is -- name a bank robber!
That's right, every halfway decent bank robber, who holds up more than one bank in his career, gets a name by the FBI or other law enforcement agency who is trying to catch them and put them in jail.
Usually the cops, get the naming rights, but this time I'm stepping in!
This morning I got an email from Newport Beach's friendly and always helpful press spokesperson Kathy Lowe. Now me and Kathy have had our little tisses since she took over the job recently, but she is a very nice and professional women and I respect her greatly. She's got a tough job dealing with media types like me, so I don't envy her.
The email she sent me was an urgent release about a bank robbery that took place late yesterday at Union Bank on PCH in Corona Del Mar.
You can see the press release by the NBPD below:
The first thing that shot into my twisted reporter jaded mind, is "FINALLY!!!! - I have a chance to name this guy, he hasn't been named yet. His $#@! is MINE!
So as you see above, I've dubbed him the 'CDM SLACKER BANDT' and if you have any information about who he is or if you saw this 'slacker' looking dude as seen above waking away from the Union Bank at about 5PM yesterday on PCH, give the Newport Beach PD a call ASAP and tell them you want to let them know about the CDM SLACKER BANDIT!
There's no reward money in the naming rights to a bank robber criminal, but for a long time reporter and journalist it would be a personal and professional milestone
So I hope you're listening NBPD and the FBI.
It's catchy and may help you get this guy. Use the name, it's FREE and on me!
It may just be me, but he kind of looks like Justin Timberlake to me, but I'm sure Justin has an alibi! No offense Timberlake, I love you on SNL and I'll admit a few of your songs! I know, I'm not supposed to say that being the manly man I am! But I'm man enough to admit it!
Come on Newport - get busy!
Let's catch the CDM SLACKER BANDIT!